How to handle criticism on social media

TL;DR

To handle criticism on social media, work on your own reaction instead of trying to control what other people say. Do not go looking for negative comments, and do not give a cruel remark from a stranger the same weight as feedback from people whose opinion you trust. When a fair point does come in, acknowledge it and build on it rather than defending yourself, and save your attention for the feedback that can make your work better.

Insights

Brené Brown draws a clear line about whose opinion should reach you. In her talk on vulnerability, she says the feedback worth taking seriously comes from people who are also in the arena, taking risks and doing their own work, not from the ones sitting in the stands making fun of people. A harsh, anonymous comment from someone who never puts their own work out there does not have to hold any power over you.

Tim Ferriss says the first rule is not to go looking for it. As your work reaches more people, some of them are going to dislike you or project a bad day onto you, and if you go hunting through your comments you will end up fixating on the one or two people who were cruel. His point is to stop walking barefoot across the broken floorboards in the first place.

Communication coach Vinh Giang offers a way to respond when a comment does get to you. He calls it the "yes and" approach: instead of defending yourself, you acknowledge what the person said and build on it, which takes the heat out of the exchange. It only works if you set your ego aside and accept that, like everyone, you are sometimes wrong.