Get to know you questions: 130 for any situation

TL;DR

The best get to know you questions are easy to answer but tell you something about who the person actually is. Ten that work in almost any situation:

1. What did you want to be when you were growing up?
2. What's keeping you busy outside of work these days?
3. What's something you've changed your mind about recently?
4. What are you looking forward to?
5. What's a book, podcast, or idea you keep recommending?
6. Who has had the biggest influence on how you think?
7. What's a small thing you're weirdly good at?
8. What does a good day look like for you?
9. When do you feel most like yourself?
10. What are you most proud of this year?

When you meet someone new, it's normal to fall back on a few standard questions: where are you from, what do you do, how was your weekend. There's nothing wrong with them, but they don't tell you much about who the person actually is. Some are too small to turn into a real conversation, and others, like "what do you do," are harder to answer well than they look.

Get to know you questions work differently. They give the other person something specific and interesting to talk about, and the answers show you how they think and what they care about. This list has 130 of them, grouped by who you're getting to know and how personal you want to get. But first, a short guide on using them well.

How to use these questions

Whether a question works depends a lot on the moment. Three things are worth thinking about before you ask:

• Match the depth to the setting. A light, funny question fits a new group or a first meeting; a question about someone's biggest fear does not. Start easy and go deeper only as the other person warms up. Psychologist Arthur Aron's research found that exchanging increasingly personal questions can build real closeness between strangers, as long as the depth builds up gradually rather than all at once.
• Ask a follow-up. The question is only the opening. When someone says they love hiking, what matters is that you ask "what got you into it?" rather than moving straight on to your next question. That works only if you're really listening to the answer. Once a question opens things up, the harder part is keeping it going.
• Answer your own questions too. Getting to know someone goes both ways. When you share your own answer after asking something personal, it feels like a conversation instead of an interview. It is also worth doing for its own sake: people who have more substantive conversations and less small talk tend to report higher wellbeing.

If you only want an easy way to start talking rather than questions that go deeper, our conversation starters guide is a better fit. The questions here are for when you want to actually learn about the person.

Fun get to know you questions

These are the easy ones, good for a new group, a party, or any time you want to keep things light and get people talking without putting anyone on the spot.

1. What's something small that made you smile this week?
2. If you could instantly be great at one hobby, what would you pick?
3. What's your go-to comfort meal?
4. Are you more of a mountains or ocean person?
5. What's the best trip you've ever taken?
6. What show or movie can you rewatch endlessly?
7. If you had a completely free day with no plans, how would you spend it?
8. What's a small thing you're weirdly good at?
9. Coffee, tea, or something else to start the day?
10. What song always puts you in a good mood?
11. What's the best piece of advice you've ever been given?
12. If you could live anywhere for a year, where would it be?
13. What hobby have you always wanted to try?
14. What's your favorite way to spend a weekend?
15. What's something you learned recently that surprised you?

Funny get to know you questions

When you want to make people laugh, these funny get to know you questions do the job. They're silly on purpose, and the answers usually say more about someone than a serious question would.

1. What's the most useless talent you have?
2. If you were a kitchen appliance, which one would you be, and why?
3. What's the weirdest food combination you secretly love?
4. What's a movie everyone loves that you just don't get?
5. If animals could talk, which one would be the rudest?
6. What's the most embarrassing song on your playlist?
7. What would the title of your autobiography be?
8. In a zombie apocalypse, what's your very first move?
9. What's a small thing that irrationally annoys you?
10. What's the worst haircut you've ever had?
11. If you could only eat one food forever, which one would you get sick of last?
12. What's the strangest thing you believed as a kid?

Good get to know you questions for any situation

These are good get to know you questions for adults in almost any setting: a new friend, a coworker you're warming up to, or a date that's going well. They're open enough to go anywhere the person wants to take them.

1. What's keeping you busy these days outside of work?
2. What did you want to be when you were growing up?
3. What's something you've changed your mind about recently?
4. Who has had the biggest influence on how you think?
5. What's a skill you're working on right now?
6. What does a good day look like for you?
7. What's something you're looking forward to?
8. How do you usually recharge after a hard week?
9. What's a book, podcast, or idea you keep recommending?
10. What's something people often get wrong about you?
11. What are you most proud of this year?
12. What's a decision you're really glad you made?
13. What would you love to learn if you had the time?
14. Where did you grow up, and what was it like?
15. What's a cause or topic you genuinely care about?

Deep get to know you questions

Save these deep get to know you questions for people you already trust, or for a moment that's clearly ready for them: a late-night talk or a long drive. Ask gently, share your own answers, and let the other person pass on anything they'd rather not go into.

1. What's a moment that changed the direction of your life?
2. What are you most afraid of, and where do you think it comes from?
3. When do you feel most like yourself?
4. What does a meaningful life look like to you?
5. Who do you miss the most right now?
6. What's a belief you grew up with that you've since let go of?
7. What's the hardest thing you've been through, and what did it teach you?
8. What do you want people to remember about you?
9. What makes you feel truly understood?
10. What are you still figuring out about yourself?
11. Which relationship in your life means the most to you, and why?
12. What would you do differently if you weren't afraid of failing?
13. When did you last feel really proud of yourself?
14. What does home mean to you?
15. What's something you're learning to accept about your life?

Get to know you questions for work and new teams

Starting a new job, running an onboarding, or leading a team-building session? These get to know you questions for work help people connect without the forced-fun feeling of most icebreakers.

1. What drew you to this kind of work?
2. What part of your job do you enjoy most?
3. How do you like to receive feedback?
4. Are you more productive in the morning or later in the day?
5. What's a project you're proud of?
6. Do you prefer to communicate by chat, call, or email?
7. What helps you do your best work?
8. What did you want to be when you were a kid?
9. What's something you're learning right now, at work or outside it?
10. How do you like to celebrate a win?
11. What's a hobby or interest most people here don't know about?
12. What's the best team you've ever been part of, and what made it work?
13. How do you recharge when work gets intense?
14. What's one small thing that would make your week easier?
15. What's a skill you'd love to be known for?

Get to know you questions for couples and dating

This group runs from early get to know you questions for dating to the deeper ones for couples who've been together a while. The first nine are questions to get to know someone you like without making a first date feel like an interview; the rest are for people who already share a life.

1. What's your idea of a perfect first date?
2. What made you want to meet up today?
3. What are you looking for right now?
4. What's something you're passionate about that most people don't ask about?
5. How do you like to spend your free time?
6. What's your relationship with your family like?
7. What does a good relationship look like to you?
8. What's something that instantly makes you like someone?
9. What's a small thing that means a lot to you?
10. What first made you feel safe with me?
11. What's a memory of us you think about often?
12. How do you most like to be shown love?
13. What's something you'd like us to do more of?
14. What did your last serious relationship teach you?
15. What does commitment mean to you?
16. What's a fear you have about the future?
17. When do you feel closest to me?
18. What's a dream you'd like us to build toward?

Get to know you questions for students

Teachers and group leaders can use these get to know you questions for students at the start of a year or a new club.

1. What's your favorite subject, and why?
2. If you could teach a class on anything, what would it be?
3. What do you like to do after school?
4. What's a goal you have for this year?
5. What's something you're really good at?
6. If you could go anywhere on a field trip, where would you go?
7. What's the best book you've read recently?
8. What makes someone a good friend?
9. What's something new you'd like to try?
10. Who's someone you look up to?
11. What's a question you wish more people asked you?
12. What's something that makes you proud of yourself?

Get to know you questions for kids and teens

The first eight get to know you questions for kids are simple and playful; the rest are get to know you questions for teens, who usually open up more when the questions treat them like the almost-adults they are.

1. If you could have any superpower, what would it be?
2. What's your favorite animal, and why?
3. What's usually the best part of your day?
4. If you could make one rule everyone had to follow, what would it be?
5. What's your favorite thing to do with your family?
6. If you could be any age, which would you pick?
7. What's something that makes you laugh every time?
8. What's your favorite thing to learn about?
9. What's something you're really into right now?
10. If you could change one thing about school, what would it be?
11. What's a goal you're working toward?
12. Who's an artist or creator you love right now?
13. What's something you wish adults understood?
14. What do you want to be known for?
15. What's something you're proud of that most people don't know about?

Random get to know you questions

When you want to shake things up, these random get to know you questions go in no particular order and fit almost anyone. They're great for a lull, a game, or a jar of questions on the table.

1. What's a question you'd love to know the answer to?
2. If you could have dinner with anyone, living or dead, who would it be?
3. What's the best gift you've ever received?
4. What's a small habit that improved your life?
5. What's something you could talk about for hours?
6. If you won the lottery tomorrow, what's the first thing you'd do?
7. What's a smell that brings back a strong memory?
8. What's the most beautiful place you've ever been?
9. What's something you believed as a kid that still shapes you?
10. If you could instantly speak any language, which would you choose?
11. What's a tiny thing that reliably makes your day better?
12. What's the best compliment you've ever gotten?
13. If your life had a theme song, what would it be?

Conclusion

Getting to know someone comes down to being curious and giving them room to answer. Pick a few questions that fit your situation, start lighter than you think you need to, and follow whatever the other person seems interested in talking about. The questions just give you a place to start.

FAQ