How to be a better listener?

TL;DR

To be a better listener, give the other person your full attention and hold back the urge to jump in with your reply. Treat listening as the main event, not the pause before your turn: put away distractions, let go of the need to steer, and take in what the person actually means. A simple habit helps: receive what they say, show small signs you're following, briefly summarize it back, then ask a question, so they feel heard and you actually learn something.

Insights

Radio host and journalist Celeste Headlee argues that listening is the single most important skill in a conversation, and the reason we're bad at it is simple: we would rather talk, because talking keeps us in control. Becoming a better listener starts with giving up some of that control and being willing to be moved by what you hear, instead of just waiting for your turn to speak.

Sound and communication expert Julian Treasure offers a short, practical tool he calls RASA: receive what the person says by paying real attention, appreciate it with small signals like "mm-hmm," summarize back what you heard, and ask questions afterward. Running those four steps turns listening from something passive into something you actively do, which is what makes the other person feel understood.