How to show empathy

Communication researcher Bruce Lambert describes empathy as a skill you build with practice, not a fixed trait you either have or don't 1. A few things make it land:

• Lead with curiosity, not fixing: Rather than jumping in to solve the problem or cheer someone up, get curious about what it is actually like to be them right now, and ask open questions to find out what they need instead of assuming 1.
• Name and validate the feeling: Say what they seem to be feeling, like upset or frustrated, and let them know that reaction is normal and reasonable.
• Listen back: Paraphrase what they said in your own words to show you were listening, and use small cues like "yeah" or "mm-hmm" to signal you are with them.
• Show up and stay present: Offer your help, your concern, and your presence, so they know they are not alone. Often just being there and being real is what matters most.