How to make friends as an adult

Simon Sinek's take is that making friends gets harder as an adult largely because you lose the built-in shared experiences of school or early career 1. His suggestion is to skip the surface questions, like what someone does or where they live, and instead share your values and beliefs. Leading with what matters to you works like a filter, quickly surfacing the people who see the world the same way, which is a stronger base for friendship than shared circumstances 1.

Behavioral researcher Vanessa Van Edwards adds that most adults are not short on acquaintances; the gap is turning those light interactions into real friendships, and that rarely happens by accident. Treat it as a deliberate step: suggest the coffee, send the message, follow up after a good conversation 2.